Posts Tagged With: funny

The Truth About School Concerts

Last night I dutifully attended my son Jacobs chorus concert with my wife and the baby. Despite the fact that my in laws would have been more than happy to watch Grayson for us, we chose to bring him anyway: he was part of the plan. An infant is the perfect tool to allow you to slip out of any function or social gathering that you are obligated to show up at but that you really want to leave as quickly as possible. Case in point: we got to the school, we made small talk with my ex, we sat through the ten minutes that the 5th grade was on stage and then we got the hell out of Dodge. No one questioned it because everyone knows how needy babies are. The fact that Grayson was being perfectly content and had eaten not that long ago was irrelevant.
I have a confession to make: I hate going to my kids sporting events and concerts. I will go of course, to show support for my children but I don’t have to enjoy it. I sound like a monster right? Please, no parents like going to these things they just don’t admit it. There’s a reason that they don’t put 8yr old playing baseball on TV, It’s as boring as watching shit dry. Seriously, little uncoordinated children running around after balls and tripping all over each other is not anyone’s idea of entertainment. The same goes for the concerts, 5th graders sing like 5th graders. They either look down at their shoes and warble off key or mumble softly to themselves in a barely audible fashion. No one is there because they want to be. If you didn’t have any kids, would you spend a night going see a little league game or watching a bunch of tweens badly reenact Glee? Of course you wouldn’t.
I go out of obligation but also because I’m investing in the future. I figure that if I sit through enough of these things when the kids suck, it will encourage them to keep doing it so that one day, maybe in High School, maybe in College, I’ll go to a recital or a concert and enjoy what I’m hearing. I have no doubt that both my kids are talented (the jury is still out on the baby) and one day that talent is going to shine through on a stage or screen. But for now I’m forced to endure the boring stuff they do. But that’s what smart phones are for right?


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